


The Opposite of Awesome

by uofmdragon



Series: Ultimate Spider-man Shorts [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), Ultimate Spider-Man
Genre: Communication Failure, Locker Room, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 02:39:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uofmdragon/pseuds/uofmdragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson has had a very long day and Clint isn't going to make it better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Opposite of Awesome

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Coda for Season 1, Episode 14, _Awesome_. Beta'd by the wonderful Pyroblaze18.

Coulson was grateful that he kept spare clothes aboard the helicarrier, and made his way straight to the locker room. There was a tactical suit waiting for him—he grabbed it and went to get dressed.

"Why are you wrapped up in a blanket?" Barton asked, dropping down beside him. Coulson glanced upward, trying to determine if he had been in a vent or sitting on top of the lockers, as both were a possibility.

"Why are you lurking in the locker room?"

"No reason," Clint said and Coulson glanced at him through narrowed eyes. Barton was attempting to look innocent. He reversed, walking along the row of lockers waiting for Clint to twitch. He smirked as Clint inhaled and didn't so much as move—over compensating. Coulson turned and looked at the lockers, before selecting one.

"Isn't this Agent Jones' locker?" Coulson asked. "The same Agent Jones who has been insulting Agent Romanoff and me."

"Is it?" Clint said with the false air of innocence that Coulson could spot from the other side of the planet through a satellite field and staticy comms.

"Why don't you open it for me?" Coulson said.

"I'm not allowed to go into other Agents’ lockers," Clint pointed out. He was technically correct, but they both knew he only followed those rules when it suited him.

"I'm authorizing you," Coulson said, taking a few steps back out of what he suspected was to be the blast range. "Open it."

Barton stepped closer, recognizing the order; while he might have been mouthy, he only directly disobeyed when he had a good reason to. Whatever his reluctance, he didn't have a good reason.

"You sure, boss?" Barton asked, going to the locker.

"Unless there's something you care to admit to?" Coulson asked calmly.

Barton glared at the locker, "He said you were past your prime and that Tasha was only on the team because she was a woman."

"I'm aware," Coulson stated, "So what did you do to his locker?"

"Nothing bad," Barton said.

"Barton," Coulson groaned, "I've had a long day. What did you do?"

"Bouncy balls," Barton mumbled.

"I'm sorry, did you say bouncy balls?!" Coulson asked, exasperated. "Damnit Clint! The high schoolers don't pull off immature pranks like this!"

"I couldn't just let him get away with insulting you and Tasha," Clint snapped back.

"Yes, you could have. Neither of us need you defending our honor," Coulson yelled.

"Someone had to do something!" Clint argued.

"Someone doesn't mean you!"

"Then who?! You're not around and Natasha didn't hear it."

"If he gets too mouthy then I'll handle it or Fury will, not you! And especially not with an immature prank," Coulson glared at Clint causing him to fall into silence. "Go back to the tower, I'll clean up your mess."

"Coulson..." Clint started.

"Not now," Coulson snapped, pointing at the door, "I gave you your orders, so follow them."

Barton hesitated, "Phil..."

"Go!" Coulson said. 

Clint's eyes widened and he slipped out of the room. Coulson watched him and took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to schedule his evening. He still needed to deal with Parker and Cage, and now he needed to clean up Clint's mess as well. But first, he needed to finally get dressed.


End file.
